


Splitting Hairs

by DestinyLeane



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-07 20:47:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20982122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DestinyLeane/pseuds/DestinyLeane
Summary: Spinel is doing really well with being alone. At least, Steven believes so.





	Splitting Hairs

Spinel paced in the living room, frantically raising and lowering her arms as she waited for Steven to return. They weren't leaving her, were they? She said something. Did something, something that upset them she knew it.   
She was mad, but she got mad a lot. They know that, it would be okay right?   
No. No! Stupid. 

"Stupid! You're so stupid! And bad! You made them go, they hate you, I hate you. I hate me. I hate-" she grabbed her face, smacking her head with her palms, desperately trying to release the pressure in her head. The bad thoughts.   
She spun around, tearing at her hair and gritting her teeth until they ached. 

"I said something mean- I deserve this, I deserve to be left here, what if they don't come back? They leave me? Here- alone." She sucked in a breath, biting her tongue at the words. "No, no, no, no, they wouldn't do that- Steven wouldn't...he might." 

She halted, glancing up at the portrait of Rose Quarzt, Pink Diamond, Steven Universe. She left her, who's to say he won't leave her too? He left her with the diamonds and they-   
Spinel froze, hearing the warp pad activate, she felt her heart sink to her feet as Steven's voice drifted down the stairs. This is bad. Bad bad.   
She jumped onto the couch, resting her hands in her knees and pretending to ignore their nearing footsteps. She twitched, waited, dreaded. 

Then noticed the hair that fell from its place, and quickly patted it into it's less than neat pigtail, smiling at the four as they entered. 

"So, how was it?" She asked, feigning curiosity, she didn't want to know that they were having fun without her. But she told Steven she would stay here. He was proud of her. And she said she could handle it.   
She lied. 

Steven slumped down on the couch, resting his back on her shoulder and leaning into it, causing her to flatten herself slightly. 

"Awful, Peridot tried to put the fridge to Watermelon Tourmaline's house in upside down, and then she accidentally dropped it in Lapis's water tower. Now we have to find a new fridge." He answered with an exhausted and reluctant sigh.   
After introducing food to the New Homeworld gems, he didn't imagine so many would become obsessed with it.   
Nearly half of the little town wanted refrigerators to store what they thought was food. And it usually was not anything edible.   
Spinel sighed, somewhat relieved that the boy was unhappy with the event. Knowing he didn't like being there made her feel slightly less terrible about being alone. 

Steven swatted his face, feeling something tickle his nose before opening his eyes and pulling the tiny cause from his face. He twirled the little pink hair in his fingers before dropping it to the floor. Spinel had been shedding a lot for some reason. Was it normal for gems to shed? He had never seen Amethyst shed hair, and Pearl's hair was too light and short to notice. Garnet, he was fairly certain that the fusion was incapable of shedding hair.

He glanced up at the gem, she nervously averted her eyes before providing him a small smile.   
She seemed to be adjusting well, she had gotten particularly good about directing her rage in healthy ways.   
And was doing well enough while alone at home. 

He smiled back, content with the progress she had made. 

"Sounds just about as fun as me staying here was." Spinel muttered, still jealous of her 'training'.   
Steven had been purposefully requesting that she practice being alone, it was infuriating and she felt weak and belittled. So she took it out on the only thing that she could. 

Spinel shot up from the couch, faking a smile and laugh before taking one very large step toward her room. 

"Well, since you're back, I guess you won't need me holding down the fort anymore. Steven, would you kindly?" She bowed down, gesturing at the door and glancing up at him.   
The boy laughed, good. All she wanted was to see him happy.   
And to not know why she felt the urge to dissapear at that moment. 

Steven stood, still chuckling at his friend, she had come so far. Even choosing to be on her own, he was happy to see her grow. He lifted his shirt, and let the door to the room open.   
Spinel quickly stepped inside, not even saying a word as she left him. 

The door closed behind her and she turned away, dropping to her knees. She didn't want to be alone, but it was the only way to make it better, she needed something, anything to make it better. 

Weak. And bad. And wrong.

"They just pity me.." she muttered, twirling her fingers in her hair until it wound so tight that if she pulled just hard enough, she could probably poof herself. 

"They don't actually like me- why would they?! Why would anyone like me? I'm useless, I can't even be a friend right- can't do anything right!" 

She gripped her arms, digging her fingers into them until the skin had divets when she finally released her grip. 

"If you're gonna get angry, just get angry at yourself!" She chided, punching herself in the head.

Steven paused, he had intended to ask why Spinel had been shedding but forgot. He turned and opened the door to the Infinity room, stepping inside. 

His eyes fell upon the gem who seemed not to notice he had entered, she was murmuring to herself, methodically ripping out pieces of her hair and letting them fall on the floor. 

"Stupid stupid stupid! They hate you! I hate you, you're dumb and a weakling and needy and clingy and if anyone actually-" 

Steven ran to confront Spinel as she rested her hands around her gem, preparing to claw it out of her form.   
He grabbed her hands and held them up. Shocking the gem from her self deprecating spiral.

She stared in shock and confusion at the boy who held her hands in the air.

"Steven-" 

Steven didn't let her finish, he wrapped his arms around the gem's neck and pulled her close to him, he let out a ragged breath as tears began to fall. 

"What are you doing?!" He cried, pressing his face into her shoulder. Spinel numbly raised her hand and rested it on his back, causing him to sit up. 

"I did bad." She answered deafly. Steven let out another sob, unable to understand. 

"What do you mean- you're hurting yourself!" He sniffled. Staring into her empty eyes. She seemed entirely lost, as though she wasn't even aware he stood in front of her. Her hand slowly raised and she began picking at her hair, pulling out strand after strand until Steven forcibly pushed her hand to the ground. 

"Stop! Please!" He wailed, finally pulling the gem back to the present. She glanced down, at all the little pink hairs that littered the floor. 

Her pupils dilated, shifting in size until they settled and her eyes focused on Steven's tear streaked face. 

"I'm sorry." She breathed, knocking her head into his chest. She shuddered and dragged in a breath. 

"I'm Sorry!" She cried, her hands gripped his shoulders and she pulled herself closer. Steven raised his arms, holding the gem as she cried in his arms.   
She was hiding- all this time...he thought she had gotten better but never even noticed how much worse he let her get. 

He rested his chin on her head, and held her until she finally grew quiet, exhausted from her own tears, from her own punishment.


End file.
